Now that I am trying to put on my own play (Dating by the Book) , I have found certain innocent sounds can bring fear and terror to my life. Mostly it is the sound of the telephone, as this is often the precursor to someone, actor or production crew, announcing their lateness or non-appearance. I've learnt to roll with it (everyone has lives outside the play) and adjust rehearsal plans on-the-fly, cutting my cloth as it were to suit my purse. However, I was entirely unprepared for the phone call I received Sunday afternoon. This was from Phil, who plays Ron, the hapless salesman of Dating by the Book.
I took the call in Starbucks, mid-way through a large Latte and a Chocolate Browie (don't judge me, I needed the sugar rush). Phil's opening words were, it has to be said, somewhat out of the blue. I thought he might have a back problem, his car might have broken down, or his schedule had been muxed by a unthinking relative turning up wanting tea and biscuits. What I wasn't prepared for was Phil telling me he had nearly chopped his foot off with an axe!
AN AXE!
It was at this point most of my Latte exploded from my mouth and sprayed across two neighbouring tables, only one of which was occupied, but this was a Teen in a white hoodie and plugged into his MP3 player, so he didn't notice.
"Don't panic Paul," Phil said, providing me with the unusual moment of wondering why on Earth I shouldn't. "I will make it to the rehearsal."
And he did, gamely limping in with his foot bandaged up and some blood appearing to add the correct dramatic overtones.
So there you go, Phil received the award for Acting-Under-Duress and I realised that phone calls from actors announcing they are going to be late isn't actually so traumatic after all.
Paul
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